The end of the year is a time when many of us make resolutions for the new year. If you are anything like me, over the years you have made many resolutions which never came to fruition. Often my goals are vague and broad, they come without a plan: Lose weight, be more organized, be more disciplined. For years I made these resolutions. Each January I would roll up my sleeves and say “this is the year” and by February, well you know how it goes. Then the guilt and shame show up. Instead of a new beginning, I would end up feeling like a failure.
A few years ago I thought I would try a new approach: I would set small goals, create reasonable resolutions. I have spoken and written in the past about the year I resolved to say “I love you” to the people I love. It wasn’t easy at first but it was finally a goal which was attainable. It got easier each time I said it. I immediately felt better when I said those three words out loud. I had no expectation of people saying it back to me, it was something I was doing for myself. Now, years later, I can still see the results: when I say I love you to my sisters before hanging up the phone, when I can freely express how I feel with people, it makes both our lives better.
So this year I invite you to make reasonable resolutions, ones that can be attained and set you up for success in the new year. Keep it simple and make a plan. For me, this year’s resolution is to remember that if I change nothing about myself, I am already enough. There is no change I need to make, no number of pounds I can lose, no one whose approval I need, nothing. I want to continue to grow as a human being and I resolve to work towards that goal of letting go of the feeling of “not enoughness.”
While teaching a yoga class recently, it came out in other words. I said: “Instead of worrying about losing weight, or focusing on my physical body, this year I am going to try to lose the 20 pounds of spiritual weight that I have been carrying around with me.”
Whatever the New year brings for you remember that you, too, are already enough. You were born perfect, and you still are. Let go of whatever you think you need to “be better”—you are already. Tell the people you love that you love them, and please, start with yourself.